Contrasts. For me, the juxtaposition of opposite ideas, experiences or images ignites comprehension and awakens emotions. Sunsets display beautiful contrasts as fading light bounces off of the darkening horizon. Many foods pair contrasting flavors of sweet with salty or spicy. Home decorators prominently place accents of contrasting color, like the orange touches I’ve added to a bedroom of mauve. Contrasts cause me to contemplate.
Last month, I saw two friends in greatly contrasting situations. The one friend is quite young and has just had her first baby. We visited together and I watched her care for her newborn with mothering skill that was becoming more natural for her. We talked about her new life. She’s enjoyed a season of being at home. We discussed her marriage and the very great transition husbands and wives go through, from footloose couplehood to the parenting responsibilities of a threesome family. They ponder jobs, a home, more children and keeping their romance alive. New parenthood brings joy, wonder, adjustment and a changed reality.
The day after seeing my young friend and her baby, I attended a memorial service for the husband of a long-time acquaintance. Through social media, I was aware that her husband had been diagnosed with cancer but I had not spent any time with them in years. The couple was set up by friends because “they were from the same state, were both tall, and both liked to laugh.” It was a perfect match and love endured for 27 good years. With amazing composure, the widow shared fun and meaningful stories of those nearly three decades together. The couple came to understand that God’s timing for his life would be shorter than they had envisioned but their faith assured them of God’s plan in even this loss.
So life conflicted with loss; a baby’s arrival contrasting a husband’s passing; a cradle and a casket. But life and loss can be mastered by love. I don’t mean to say that loss is easy. Death, especially untimely bereavement, is tragic and devastating. Love isn’t replaced but it isn’t lost either. My widowed friend read this Scripture to summarize the faith and love she and her husband shared: “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12: 9 – 11