Traveling home on the last leg of a recent, long road trip, we stopped to eat at an Arby’s in Ruther Glen, Virginia, off I-95. I placed my meal order with a very upbeat cashier. Repeatedly she interjected “m’ dear,” an endearment quite typical in Southern speech, as she confirmed my selections. The sweet expression felt good as my husband and I were in need of rest and refreshment at this point in our many miled journey. Next to me, a handsome young Black man also placed his order and a few minutes later a woman in a cute yellow dress joined him.
Our meal came and we sat in a booth, the fast food satisfying our hunger. Being the people watcher that I am, I saw that the African American couple sat in the booth next to us. As they too ate their meal, I overheard playful banter in their conversation that spoke of love and a healthy relationship, nothing course or lewd about it. At some point, her man and mine left our tables and she spoke to me. She commented that she noticed us and thought we showed a mature and seasoned relationship. I told her that indeed we had recently celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary. She congratulated me with seemingly genuine happiness for us. I asked about their life together and she answered that they were at the twenty-year mark. “Wow,” I responded. “You look too young for that!” Our little chat ended with wishing each other many more years of loving commitment in marriage.
About this time, the cashier from up front began circulating the dining area with a broom. She too engaged in conversation with me. It was almost Mother’s Day weekend and I think that’s where she started. She shared about all the gifts she got for her mother and couldn’t wait to give her on her day off. I think one of the gifts was a plaque or decorative family tree because she began telling me the names of her kids and siblings and step-siblings. It was clear that she adored her mother and planned to generously express her love through gifts.
It struck me that both women initiated conversations with me. Did I look lonely or lost? I doubt that was the reason: the Southern way is just warm, friendly, and casual. The Southern way has also been associated with prejudice, yet both Black women felt comfortable and interested in talking to me, a white stranger passing through town. Life’s commonalities drew us together. I was a wife sharing fast food with my husband, and I was a daughter, possibly also a mother, to the talkative cashier. We found a connection by sharing those life roles. The connection provided a measure of kindness.
God felt the same about connecting with us. He sent His Son Jesus to experience our humanity. Jesus willingly gave up the glories of being God, to share life’s human realities on earth, including the eventual agony of death. At this point, some of you will recognize these as truths from Philippians 2. I was part of a discussion on that passage on Sunday. I love how one person said it: God who is eternal and omnipresent (is everywhere at once) subjected Himself through Jesus His Son to our limitations of time and place.
Three years ago, at this time, our country experienced a terrible fissure. What appeared to be an unnecessarily harsh police arrest incited an uproar of protests. Thousands rioted in city streets to voice their indignation, even as churches and schools were shut down, parks and beaches were closed, and many jobs were suspended. Fear of a virus and social isolation fueled the reaction and rage.
As grievous as the Minneapolis incident was, my encounters at the Ruther Glen Arby’s happen more often. I believe when kindness or empathy occur, it is a small reflection of the great image of God’s kindness, as explained in Philippians 2; how Jesus demonstrated the ultimate emptying of His divine rights and privileges. We can receive His saving grace (which Scripture defines below as bending the knee and verbal consent), and common grace can be imparted to those with whom we walk this earth.
~from Philippians 2 5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
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