Attitude – A Writer's Daughter

The Lens of Perspective

I estimate that I have spent roughly a 40-hour week in the office of eye doctors over the last ten years. I have not had eye surgery and I do not have serious eye disease, but regular check-ups and follow-ups have been necessary. I have visited several eye doctors in two different states now, and the experience is the same: patients stay for a really long time! If you’ve been to an ophthalmologist lately, you’ve experienced it yourself: first the typical sign-in and paperwork. Eventually you’re called back to initial screenings, machine measurements, and the eyeball air puff test. Later, someone comes and puts drops in your eyes. There is a long wait after the eye drops go in, sometimes as long as an hour. You sit in a dimmed waiting room. I think I memorized the eye disease documentary that the one practice ran continuously on its TVs! Finally, nearly two hours in, the doctor sees you for the exam which probably lasts less than 15 minutes.

One of my recent eye appointments caught me by surprise. I thought I was in for a quick contact lens follow-up, which I had scheduled for mid-morning. I got to the office for my quick check, but things did not go well or as I’d planned. I waited in the lobby interminably. I had not brought anything to read, thinking I’d only be there for a few minutes. When the assistant finally took me back, she put in the eye drops and I knew I was done for! Sure, I had my phone, which even has the Bible app, but I was in no mood to salvage the unexpected wait! I went home for a late lunch huffing with frustration over a wasted morning.

Don’t get me wrong. I have genuine respect for medical professionals. The eye particularly amazes me, and I cannot imagine all that goes into learning the physiology and diseases of this intricate organ so vital to the human experience of sight. And we know that the medical profession, like many other businesses, struggles with worker shortages and extra protocols (although my lengthy ophthalmologist appointments began years before this predicament).

So why am I writing about the inconvenience of long doctor appointments? My impatience reminds me that I need to keep things in perspective. While I can complain about waiting, the staffing shortages and wasted time, I remind myself that I have a lot to be thankful for! I have access to good medical care, as we all do in this country compared to many places in the world. I have insurance and the means to pay for it. I am free of serious eye disease: I have my eyesight! I have the wherewithal to discuss issues with my doctors and to practice good eye care. Complaining about a long wait is groundless considering the many undeserved blessings I experience daily.

How do we view things, as half empty or half full? The doughnut or the hole? I easily tend toward negativity or griping so God’s words to “be thankful in all things” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) correct my bad tendency. Instead, my lens of perspective should focus on all the ways in which God richly provides for us (Ecclesiastes 5:19 and Joel 2:26, for examples).

North Carolina folk artist Vollis Simpson is known for his whirligigs, now displayed throughout the state. (Photo – wilsonwhirligigpark.org)

Cynicism in 2022

A while ago, a friend sent our family an article of my dad’s that he had come across. It is interesting for me to see glimpses into my father’s writing; I did not read a lot of what he wrote at the time and much of his work was on the editing and publication side.

The scan of my dad’s article doesn’t photograph well, but we appreciate the thoughtfulness of the one who sent it. My niece recently came upon some of my dad’s work in her graduate research. It delights us to discover this legacy!

The piece was on the topic of cynicism and was written in 1975 for a Christian magazine**. Cynicism is a timeless subject; my father noted that cynicism “was everywhere these days.” His examples of cynical responses included politicians dodging difficult issues, dismay over declining product quality, and sports teams like the Washington Capitals always having losing seasons – it was decades before the Caps won the Stanley Cup!

Dad’s article traced the origins of cynicism to ancient Greece, where a group called Cynics, founded by Diogenes, sought virtue and a life close to nature. But one member acted rather cynically as we would understand the term, going “about the streets with a lantern in broad daylight, looking for an honest person.” That search is eerily applicable today!

Cynicism has several close cousins: sarcasm, skepticism, apathy, despair, and negativity, to name a few. It can be comic or bitter. The full title of my father’s article was “The Sport of Cynicism: Is it a game Christians should play?” His advice was to not allow “a sense of caution [to] deteriorate into a sneering manner.” To do so, he said, was an evil influence.

As we begin this new year of 2022, one could feel very pessimistic. The on-going pandemic and the continued division over its management are only the tip of the troubles we face. As believers in God and in His sovereign plan for us, we should not feel hopeless. My father’s article suggested two responses preferable to cynicism. The first was gratitude. I couldn’t agree more. Genuine thankfulness prevents complaints and discontentment. The second was patience; patience with difficult people and patience in continuing adversity. The Lord gives these two perspectives to those who pray and seek Him, submitting themselves to His work in their lives.

And in a conclusion that should be completely familiar to readers of “A Writer’s Daughter,” my dad ended his piece quoting Scripture: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom.” (Colossians 3:16) As God’s wise Word fills our minds and hearts, cynicism and fear cannot take hold.

**We looked into various periodicals that we thought dad’s piece might have been published in, but we were unable to determine that.

New Construction

Living in a brand-new house accentuates even the smallest of flaws. Since everything is newly constructed and freshly painted, the imperfections, nicks and dirt really stand out. Mostly I notice and cringe at damage such as scratches on the wall or dings on moulding. Some of it happened even as the movers brought in our stuff and I won’t rant about those gashes, but most of the marks are from day-to-day wear that will occur in any home. We are the first residents, and our living here spoils the perfection and brings in dust and SAND!

These new blemishes remind me of a sermon I heard our former Pastor preach. Based on a verse* from the book Song of Solomon, he talked about the danger of “the little foxes” in our lives, those ‘little’ sins we consider harmless. But the verse goes on to say that the foxes spoil the vine and need to be caught before they harm the grapes. Fox cubs may seem innocuous in a garden, but they are destructive enough to ruin a vineyard and probably a year’s livelihood.

Could the “little foxes” be the seemingly minor sins like partial disclosure, grumbling, resentment or discontent, the wayward eye? Those aren’t The Big Ten anyway! But the Bible tells us that all commandments matter and a “spoiled vine” turns into a dead plant or at least one without fruit, rather useless. Little sins, like little stains, taint and must be cleaned up quickly.

As I researched for this blog post, I came across an interesting application from a good Bible resource called GotQuestions.org: “Take preventative measures to protect this love from anything that could harm it.” “Little foxes that spoil the vine” is out of one of the Bible’s love stories, Song of Solomon. The “little foxes” directive may refer to relationships or marriage. The little things like harsh words, going to bed angry, unforgiveness and selfishness badly mar relationships quite quickly, like the gash from a table leg on a spotless hallway wall! I was surprised to realize this context and it was a reminder I needed to hear.

I will have to live with a house that gets dirty and damaged but spiritually we lean on Jesus’ power to rid us of thoughts and actions that spoil our lives. *Song of Solomon 2:15

I like this cute quip in my home and I think the spiritual equivalent is “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven”.

It’s Fixed

I am happy to report that many of our previous problems have been fixed!! The septic system was overhauled, and new grass is growing. An extra blessing from the Lord was that our insurance company covered much of the repair cost. The cars are working fine, we said good-bye to a kitty, and usually our technology cooperates, except for tonight when I am trying to work on this blog. A recent flood of the washing machine indicates that the 18-year-old appliance needs to be replaced but I think we got our money’s worth.

This is not the picture I intended to feature but photos wouldn’t download this time. I do like the candy cane vine.

I update this short blog to assure you that we press on even when things go wrong. And as I said before, we dealt with some nuisances but some of you are experiencing serious relationship, health, job or financial crises. Whether we are facing a series of setbacks or a season of blessing, there is a reality check. Romans 8 describes frustration in creation, a waiting for liberation, and a groaning for future hope. You can read the whole interesting passage in Romans 8:18-27. Put encouragingly, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16) That is the renewal of walking daily with Jesus.

Spring into Summer

This blog post is long overdue. Originally I planned to title it “Spring Makeover” but that is now outdated. My busyness a year ago at this time came as our two kids married within seven weeks of each other! This year I find that springtime still kept me hopping. In education, testing and the associated preparation and paperwork all happen in the second half of the school year. Personally, we have travelled a lot and celebrated most of the family birthdays and anniversaries in the past few months.

It’s not quite meteorological summer but with the end of the school year and hot temps, it is summertime! Many of us think ‘makeover’ after the winter months. We want to get healthy, brighten our look and spiff up the wardrobe! As I mentioned, a year ago our family experienced the back-to-back weddings of our son and daughter. This meant that within a very short period of time I was both Mother of the Groom and Mother of the Bride. Though I didn’t go to a royal beauty spa as Queen Esther of the Bible did, I experienced an untypically high number of beauty appointments during those wedding months.

Two local beauticians handle my normal routines. Both women are similar in age and background and each of them own their small beauty business. With repeated visits, some patterns have emerged. One of them regularly shares about business hardships, difficult customers, high rent bills and bad employees. I try to be understanding in my response but much of her concern is the nature of the service industry and dealing with the public. She works hard and her business is successful. I like supporting her small enterprise.

I had a costly, time-consuming manicure for a beautiful occasion.

The other shop owner radiates sweetness. She too is a very hard worker which has kept her in business alone for many years. As a single parent, she is proudly sending her son off to college. She’s always grateful for customers and she’s friendly with everyone in the building. In fact, I met her through my husband, whose office was directly across the hall from her salon. It is truly a treat, not just a beauty treatment, to patronize her business.

And then there is Annie at the Clinique counter. Unlike some of the other Vogue-like models at make-up counters, Annie is maturing but cute and down to earth. She gives helpful make-up advice and calls to remind me when there’s a sale, because make-up is expensive and rarely discounted in department stores. I notice that Annie’s customers come from all walks of life and many greet her with a hug. I too feel pampered and prettier after my infrequent splurges there.

These three ladies remind me that how we do our work matters. Most of us choose the work we do, paid or not. We can approach our work and our coworkers and clients with joy and gratitude, even when the work is hard, the hours are long, the pay is low and . . . the people! Only God’s touch will perfect us, but a ready smile and a heart of thankfulness will be a beautiful blessing to those around us.

Romans 12:2a, 11 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.”

Distinktive February

Preface – Writing this blog helped me process a discouraging series of annoyances. Not wanting to bring my readers down, I hesitated to publish it. Lately, I’ve seen others struggling (two co-workers in tears) and the weekend storm brought major inconvenience to many. My February logic fails but may this post give you a chuckle and encourage you to persevere!

I often take on heavy subject matter in my blog posts. This time I write with some attitude, a bit tongue-in-cheek, on a lighter topic. I will however, end up where I always do, looking at how God may look at it, through His messages to us.

Last Saturday it rained for the third weekend in a row. While preparing breakfast that morning, a kitchen fuse blew. Around lunchtime, the printer wouldn’t print and after a fix, then became jammed, almost causing us to miss a deadline. Late in the afternoon, a T.V. component randomly disconnected and we went through all kinds of contortions to plug it in on the back of the large, mounted screen.

We all have days like this. Nothing serious but one annoyance after another. Frankly, I think the whole month of February stinks! Within a month’s time a pipe in our house leaked requiring a plumber’s attention, a new computer crashed during an update and we’ve attended two funerals. We have faced piles of forms and paperwork for some insurance issues and a car transaction. And since writing the first draft of this piece, the bathroom overflowed on my way out the door to work! Dreary weather and gray landscapes characterize this month. I’m sure that’s why God made February the shortest month of the year (wink, wink).

Years ago, my washing machine flooded. As I bemoaned the mess in my laundry room to my friend Janice she remarked that at least my floor got cleaned. Her words and perspective jarred me. Indeed my laundry room floor was in great need of a cleaning and the small deluge had done the job! Similarly my co-worker Andrea ordered a personalized license plate that read: AG Lining. She daily reminded herself to look for the best, a cloud’s silver lining, in rough situations and to focus on the bright side.

I noticed this bright spot in the grocery store yesterday.

Perspective, attitude and hope provide options in the daily, or in February’s case, the monthly grind. It turns out that we had a nice time catching up with our plumber friend when he came over to repair the leak. The day the computer crashed I had read a quote about 90% attitude vs. 10% circumstance and I concentrated on this as I spent the better part of a day in the MicroCenter repair department. The rain on one of those Saturdays morphed into snow and my husband and I enjoyed homemade soup by a roaring fire. And as is always the case, funerals bring neighbors and family together in meaningful and compassionate ways. The bright side shines.

We find February-type discouragement frequently in Scripture. For example, David the Psalm writer, shepherd boy, and king, wrote a lot about his doubts and despair. In Psalm 73 David lists the inequities he observed, calling them “oppressive.” Then he described the comfort he experienced when he “entered the sanctuary of God.” David found hope and regained perspective by spending time with God and I believe uplifting fellowship with right-thinking people may be suggested here too. Jesus needed this same encouragement to face His earthly challenges. He retreated to quiet places to commune with His Heavenly Father (Mark 1:35) and he walked daily with a group of twelve committed partners.

If February had you down, thank God that it is over! Whatever month it is, we always need God’s perspective on life and its little and big annoyances. Reading God’s words gives guidance and assurance, and spending time with others who also love His words will encourage you and keep you from succumbing to despair.

The Circus is a Strange Anniversary Date

The trained lions and tigers are unbelievable!

Every year when our anniversary rolls around, my husband and I look for something special to do together. A concert or play makes a nice evening out but there rarely seems to be anything going on when we want to celebrate. This year that was the case as well, except that we noticed the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus was in town at about that time. We had also heard that the circus was ending its 146 year old run this season. The original version began in 1871 and the two circuses merged in 1919 to form “The Greatest Show on Earth!” While a circus is not really your typical formal anniversary date, we decided to go.

Thanks to Kathy Turner for sharing her circus photos with me.

The show lived up to its name. We enjoyed all the classic acts: trapeze artists, stunt clowns on stilts and animal acts including the marvelous big cats and dogs, kangaroos, and other exotic animals. There were bikes and motorcycles and basketball on unicycles. We watched horses with stunt riders and dozens of performers on ice skates. A ringmaster narrated a story that wove the acts together and a live band played the background music. It was energetic and fun entertainment. Of course, the audience was entertaining too. The arena was full of children and families. Twirling wands and light toys buzzed and blinked all around us and the air was filled with the scents of popcorn and cotton candy. We had traded the romantic for something rollicking!

As we left the show, we talked about the demise of the circus. The circus is great fun so why was it closing? My husband thought that the costs had pretty much put a show like this out of business. In the early days, the circus would arrive in town and spread out its tent in a vacant field. The crew and performers worked for room and board and maybe little else. Now, high-cost facilities have to be rented and staff have workers’ rights for wages. I also thought that the public’s taste for entertainment had evolved. With film’s special effects and technological advances, it is harder for a live performance to amaze its audience.

I’ve written about change before. It is inevitable and it reaches into every aspect of life. Recently, my church has faced a lot of change. Our pastor of over 35 years, has announced a transition toward retirement. Many church staff have also moved on. The service and worship formats are different. Familiar songs and styles are gone. It is hard to adjust to so many changes. I miss the people and the ways to which I was accustomed. As I process these shifts, I remind myself of two important things. The first is that, again, change is inevitable and it can be good. People are changing and the church adapts to continually reach its audience. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some.” (1 Corinthians 9:22) An aged out congregation will one day become an empty sanctuary. The second reminder is that the Gospel does not change. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). The hope of the cross is eternal; that message will never change.

“The Greatest Show on Earth” closes down this weekend in New York. Despite its fame and popularity, the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus is ending. The world changes rapidly but God and His Word are unchanging.

The Work of Your Hands

My family had the wonderful opportunity to go on a mini winter getaway. Northern Virginia has not had any decent snow this year so it was especially fun to experience a wintery atmosphere. The first morning my husband and I stopped for some hot chocolate. We ordered at the counter and waited as the young woman who was both the cashier and barista, prepared our drinks. She seemed barely twenty and had darker skin tones and long, dark hair. She could have been Hispanic or Native American; either would have been likely in this western part of the country. She was neatly dressed and cordial, though not as jovial as other resort workers had been that morning.

She finished off our drinks with real whipped cream sprayed from the chilled silver canister and then carried the two steaming cardboard cups to where I was waiting. That’s when I noticed her left hand. She had a thumb but three of her fingers were missing and she had only a disfigured partial pinky finger. It appeared to be a birth defect. Yet she had just delivered two hot cocoas to me, one in each hand!

Many people use handicaps as an excuse not to work. If working is hard and a disability complicates matters, some will decide not to work at all. They rely on others and miss the satisfaction of accomplishment. A disability is an embarrassment too. In a culture where perfection is prized, it is difficult to be in a place where you will get noticed. Thoughtless comments may be overheard. Bravely, this cashier turned barista, took employment out in the public eye.

“A work of art” sounds like an oxymoron but we can take pride in our work products*. These cute sugar cookies from Cameron’s Coffee and Chocolates are decorated for Mardi Gras.

Sometimes, depending on the disability, employment can be hard to find. This is particularly true for those with cognitive impairment. It takes well-trained supervisors and special options to employ the developmentally challenged. Creating a business niche for them is a labor of love. Cameron’s Coffee and Chocolates in my town is just such a place. Coffee drinks and homemade confections are made and sold, giving work to special needs young adults.

Work is a gift. God gave mankind work in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15). Of course work became cursed after Eden (Genesis 3: 17-19), but it continues to have value. Occupation offers a healthy use of time and a sense of fulfillment, and it provides financial support as well as the opportunity to give to others and help those in need. The Bible tells us to do work and to do it well (Colossians 3:23). I’m applauding the overcoming attitude of the young café worker. For her and all of us, “(Lord,) establish the work of our hands, yes, establish the work of our hands.” (Psalm 90:17)

*A good book on the subject of being artful on the job is A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman

“Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” Danny Gokey

“Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” is a song inspired by events in an operating room. A surgeon was performing open heart surgery on a woman. The heart was successfully repaired and it was ready to be functional in the woman’s body again. In the usual time and method of restarting the heart, nothing happened. Perplexed, the doctor leaned over and spoke to the anesthetized patient on the table: “Tell your heart to beat again.” Her heart began to pump and the operation ended successfully. Listen to Danny Gokey’s (American Idol Season 8) brief explanation of “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” and then stay another couple of minutes to hear the moving song.

When I first heard someone tell the story behind the song,

Each year I start paperwhite bulbs after Christmas (thank you Santa Sally). I love watching the awakening of the dry, brown bulbs into a glorious head of lush, fragrant white flowers.

I happened to be sitting beside a couple who are good friends of ours. They both had married the love of their lives as young adults. They had children and raised their families for decades. Then both lost their spouses to cancer; an unexpected, crushing end to their planned lifetimes. After a time of grief and adjustment, the widow and widower met each other. Their affection grew and eventually they married. It struck me that our friends also had allowed their hearts “to beat again.” For a time, I am sure it seemed to them that the world had stopped and there was no life ahead. Gradually the healing touch of God revived them.

Everyone faces challenges in life. Obviously, some difficulties are far more devastating than others. I don’t think I’ve encountered the depth of pain, loss, and collapse that some experience. I am grateful but there is more life ahead. When I think of “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again,” I think of persistence and not giving up. I think of expecting setbacks and realizing life isn’t perfect or easy. Psalm 90:15 says, “Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us.” We’ll have both kinds of days. So whatever sadness or failures come our way, God is there reminding us to go on, to check our pulse and get that heart going. Jesus put it bluntly yet hopefully when he said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take HEART! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)