Family – Page 2 – A Writer's Daughter

Morning at the Laundromat

This morning I am at a laundromat. It’s an annual chore that I enjoy. Bedspreads are too heavy for my home washing machine so once a year I trek over to a neighboring community to give the bed covers a thorough cleaning in large professional machines.

I love the bright atmosphere and fresh scent of this well-kept laundromat. It intrigues me to observe people as they complete the task of laundry together. Moms and sometimes Dad keep up the loading, transferring and folding. Kids find ways to entertain themselves. Today, two toddlers push around wheeled laundry carts. A teenager babysits her younger sibling in front of a too loud TV. The Spanish channel (any channel!) blaring is the only unpleasant part of this experience for me. As I entered, an older woman left in a taxi with her morning’s work all done. It is good to see how others do life in ways different than my own.

I thrive on task completion. Checking off a job or errand on my “to do” list feels satisfying to me. This chore signifies that summer is in full swing; winter is packed away for a while. I am grateful for a measurable accomplishment in a life season that seems to have many unknowns.

My good friend Robin designs in textiles, including the quilts pictured. When my daughter worked for her, I learned much about the qualities, care and beautiful possibilities of fabric!

I was surprised on Sunday when my Pastor mentioned being “clean” in his sermon. Of course he was referring to spiritual cleanliness, not the clean that comes after a shower or even being free from substance abuse. I don’t think modern American culture emphasizes feelings of shame or guilt much, even when they may be appropriate. Some cultures do value honor and use shame as a deterrent. My pastor’s use of the term, however, indicates that we are self-aware of an unworthiness in ourselves, a falling short. In fact, the definition of sin is missing the mark. We have a sense that we should be cleaner. Across time, mankind has attempted to achieve purity in order to reach God. But as my pastor pointed out, God doesn’t ask us to get cleaned up for Him. Instead He allowed Jesus to get dirty for us. The task on the cross is accomplished and we have only to access the fresh life He offers. “Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.” Psalm 51:7 “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” 1 John 1:9

As I leave the laundromat, a woman and her adult son enter with their laundry baskets. I hope they will enjoy working together today, sharing conversation, and maybe taking a break at the nearby McDonald’s or the Dollar General next door. Such treats I also enjoy.

Robin hand-dyes cloth to produce custom pieces. She possesses amazing creativity and skill which she now uses to bless a community of women in Uganda. Find out more at Gloryboundministry.org

“A Writer’s Daughter” Turns Two

August marked the two-year anniversary of my blog. I enjoy the discipline of writing and posting. Ideas and topics come to me regularly and I pair them with what I pray are appropriate Scriptures. For me, the challenges of blogging include technical issues and the pictures. I can’t always navigate the WordPress software and ‘sharing’ through social media sometimes goes awry. Last spring, I attempted to strengthen my photography skills by enrolling in a class. Then our daughter got engaged and we plunged into wedding planning for her July wedding. I flunked the class because I couldn’t complete the homework; so much for the teacher being a student!

Thank you for subscribing to my blog. If I had a goal for my blog, it would be to increase the number of subscribers, however I am not fussing over my statistics. I write in response to God’s prompting. When I introduced my blog, a friend expressed her hope that it would reach millions. Such success is unlikely, but I will follow through faithfully. The Bible tells us to be faithful in the small things (Luke 16:10), so I plan to continue posting. The song “Dream Small” by Josh Wilson captures this message. He says, “simple moments change the world … find little ways.” Many amazing things happen in the world because of the obedience of ordinary people in seemingly insignificant ways. Watch the song below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOBaLrItEyc

I snapped this as Dad sweetened his Dunkin coffee.

As I created my blog two years ago, two parallel ideas emerged in my mind: God as The Author and my father’s writing career. My blog is not meant to be a tribute to my Dad but I am happy to acknowledge his wonderful influences. I had a special chance to spend time alone with him this summer while my mother was out of town for a funeral. Though my dad is experiencing some age-related declines we enjoyed the extended visit. He shared an idea he has for a new book and he asked about my writing. We discussed gardening and he kept me company on errand running. Dunkin Donuts is a favorite spot for us and we discovered a Russian gourmet store in the same shopping center. We stopped in to eye all the Slavic goodies. I asked the clerk to speak to my Dad. Dad responded with a robust Ukrainian phrase, sounding quite authentic!

I look forward to writing on as I continue being blessed by the presence of my earthly father* and my Heavenly Father. Thank you for your part in this calling.

*My friend Seth Barnes recently shared blogs of time with his aging dad. www.sethbarnes.com

Wedding Reflections

These last weeks have been a needed time of rest and reflection for me as well as joyful remembering! In May our son and his bride married in a beautiful Southern wedding in Florence, South Carolina. Seven weeks later, we hosted our daughter’s wedding in Virginia’s historic Piedmont region. With some trepidation but much excitement we experienced a double season of engagements, showers, guest lists and invitations, rehearsal dinners, and beautiful ceremonies surrounded by family and friends. There is the expression “showers of blessing” but we had a deluge!

Weddings are joyful celebrations but they require a great deal of planning, taking a great deal of time. Our daughter-in-law and her family took on the first wedding but the second one was ours to coordinate in just three and a half months. I credit the groom and bride and others for their extensive efforts but I knew a lot of the wedding work was my responsibility and it was a daunting task. Several perspectives kept us sane and upbeat in those busy planning days.

First of all we focused on the reason for our work: a young couple had found each other and committed to a future together. Many prayers had preceded this finally happening and it was the happiest of events for us. It was important to see this as a marriage more than a wedding. We wanted a fun party, but the priority was to launch a lasting marriage; Scripture tells us that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).

And if you’ve been in a wedding season recently yourself you know there is no end to the trimmings for today’s weddings. Pinterest, Etsy and Amazon, bridal magazines and The Knot and Zola have advertised every detail you’ve never thought of! Together with the bride and groom, we purposed to plan a lovely event without overdoing it. As the saying goes, our intent was to bless, not impress.

Personally, I had to get serious to accomplish a lot of tasks quickly. Though I like organizing and planning, I knew a wedding in three months required laser-like focus, which is not my natural style. I had my teaching job, home/family responsibilities and other commitments but I dropped all optional activities and pastimes to get going. I also encouraged myself that since this was God’s plan, it could be done in time. I could think of the two weddings a few different ways: a spring wedding, then a summer wedding; about three months apart (May, June, July); or I could say less than three months apart; just seven weeks between them. Maintaining perspective kept me positive. For the most part we all did pretty well working together, being patient, and coming to agreement on many decisions.

A candid from her ‘dry run’ and portrait day.

As the main details came together, we enjoyed wonderful moments of celebration and beauty. Gift giving, creating and decorating, parties and getting pretty filled many hours with joy, togetherness and prayer. My husband and I continued with life beyond wedding planning too. It gets old when every dinner conversation covers the latest wedding expenses and selections. In the course of our wedding season, we managed to get out to two local car shows and host a campaign event. There were hospital visits and a funeral to attend as well. While we experienced joy others faced pain.

He entitled this photo “real men wear pink.”

Gratitude best sums up this season of weddings. We are thankful to God for the gift of spouses for our children. We have witnessed their Christian marriage according to God’s design. From the very beginning God established marriage with the words, “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh,” (Genesis 2:24). Be assured that we realize life will have its challenges for them and for us, but we have been glad, very “glad, in the day the Lord has made,” (Psalm 118:24)!

This Season

Those of you who do not know me personally may be wondering what happened to me and my blog writing. As of mid-March, wedding plans took over my free time. Our son got married in May and our daughter became engaged in March and began plans to marry in early July! It is a fun, happy and exciting time for us but it is also very busy, and at times, a bit stressful. It humors me that in our 32nd year of parenting the two weddings would come less than 2 months apart! But the possibility of two upcoming weddings crossed my mind even last fall before either of the ‘kids’ were engaged: I created one of my passwords using a plural reference to weddings. I will return to writing and sharing as soon as the preparations end, but for now, know that I am fine and we are busy. Enter into our joy!

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: … a time to laugh … and a time to dance” Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

Life, Love and Loss

Contrasts. For me, the juxtaposition of opposite ideas, experiences or images ignites comprehension and awakens emotions. Sunsets display beautiful contrasts as fading light bounces off of the darkening horizon. Many foods pair contrasting flavors of sweet with salty or spicy. Home decorators prominently place accents of contrasting color, like the orange touches I’ve added to a bedroom of mauve. Contrasts cause me to contemplate.

Last month, I saw two friends in greatly contrasting situations. The one friend is quite young and has just had her first baby. We visited together and I watched her care for her newborn with mothering skill that was becoming more natural for her. We talked about her new life. She’s enjoyed a season of being at home. We discussed her marriage and the very great transition husbands and wives go through, from footloose couplehood to the parenting responsibilities of a threesome family. They ponder jobs, a home, more children and keeping their romance alive. New parenthood brings joy, wonder, adjustment and a changed reality.

The day after seeing my young friend and her baby, I attended a memorial service for the husband of a long-time acquaintance. Through social media, I was aware that her husband had been diagnosed with cancer but I had not spent any time with them in years. The couple was set up by friends because “they were from the same state, were both tall, and both liked to laugh.” It was a perfect match and love endured for 27 good years. With amazing composure, the widow shared fun and meaningful stories of those nearly three decades together. The couple came to understand that God’s timing for his life would be shorter than they had envisioned but their faith assured them of God’s plan in even this loss.

So life conflicted with loss; a baby’s arrival contrasting a husband’s passing; a cradle and a casket. But life and loss can be mastered by love. I don’t mean to say that loss is easy. Death, especially untimely bereavement, is tragic and devastating. Love isn’t replaced but it isn’t lost either. My widowed friend read this Scripture to summarize the faith and love she and her husband shared: “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12: 9 – 11