These last weeks have been a needed time of rest and reflection for me as well as joyful remembering! In May our son and his bride married in a beautiful Southern wedding in Florence, South Carolina. Seven weeks later, we hosted our daughter’s wedding in Virginia’s historic Piedmont region. With some trepidation but much excitement we experienced a double season of engagements, showers, guest lists and invitations, rehearsal dinners, and beautiful ceremonies surrounded by family and friends. There is the expression “showers of blessing” but we had a deluge!
Weddings are joyful celebrations but they require a great deal of planning, taking a great deal of time. Our daughter-in-law and her family took on the first wedding but the second one was ours to coordinate in just three and a half months. I credit the groom and bride and others for their extensive efforts but I knew a lot of the wedding work was my responsibility and it was a daunting task. Several perspectives kept us sane and upbeat in those busy planning days.
First of all we focused on the reason for our work: a young couple had found each other and committed to a future together. Many prayers had preceded this finally happening and it was the happiest of events for us. It was important to see this as a marriage more than a wedding. We wanted a fun party, but the priority was to launch a lasting marriage; Scripture tells us that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).
And if you’ve been in a wedding season recently yourself you know there is no end to the trimmings for today’s weddings. Pinterest, Etsy and Amazon, bridal magazines and The Knot and Zola have advertised every detail you’ve never thought of! Together with the bride and groom, we purposed to plan a lovely event without overdoing it. As the saying goes, our intent was to bless, not impress.
Personally, I had to get serious to accomplish a lot of tasks quickly. Though I like organizing and planning, I knew a wedding in three months required laser-like focus, which is not my natural style. I had my teaching job, home/family responsibilities and other commitments but I dropped all optional activities and pastimes to get going. I also encouraged myself that since this was God’s plan, it could be done in time. I could think of the two weddings a few different ways: a spring wedding, then a summer wedding; about three months apart (May, June, July); or I could say less than three months apart; just seven weeks between them. Maintaining perspective kept me positive. For the most part we all did pretty well working together, being patient, and coming to agreement on many decisions.
As the main details came together, we enjoyed wonderful moments of celebration and beauty. Gift giving, creating and decorating, parties and getting pretty filled many hours with joy, togetherness and prayer. My husband and I continued with life beyond wedding planning too. It gets old when every dinner conversation covers the latest wedding expenses and selections. In the course of our wedding season, we managed to get out to two local car shows and host a campaign event. There were hospital visits and a funeral to attend as well. While we experienced joy others faced pain.
Gratitude best sums up this season of weddings. We are thankful to God for the gift of spouses for our children. We have witnessed their Christian marriage according to God’s design. From the very beginning God established marriage with the words, “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh,” (Genesis 2:24). Be assured that we realize life will have its challenges for them and for us, but we have been glad, very “glad, in the day the Lord has made,” (Psalm 118:24)!
