Scripture – Page 9 – A Writer's Daughter

Wedding Reflections

These last weeks have been a needed time of rest and reflection for me as well as joyful remembering! In May our son and his bride married in a beautiful Southern wedding in Florence, South Carolina. Seven weeks later, we hosted our daughter’s wedding in Virginia’s historic Piedmont region. With some trepidation but much excitement we experienced a double season of engagements, showers, guest lists and invitations, rehearsal dinners, and beautiful ceremonies surrounded by family and friends. There is the expression “showers of blessing” but we had a deluge!

Weddings are joyful celebrations but they require a great deal of planning, taking a great deal of time. Our daughter-in-law and her family took on the first wedding but the second one was ours to coordinate in just three and a half months. I credit the groom and bride and others for their extensive efforts but I knew a lot of the wedding work was my responsibility and it was a daunting task. Several perspectives kept us sane and upbeat in those busy planning days.

First of all we focused on the reason for our work: a young couple had found each other and committed to a future together. Many prayers had preceded this finally happening and it was the happiest of events for us. It was important to see this as a marriage more than a wedding. We wanted a fun party, but the priority was to launch a lasting marriage; Scripture tells us that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).

And if you’ve been in a wedding season recently yourself you know there is no end to the trimmings for today’s weddings. Pinterest, Etsy and Amazon, bridal magazines and The Knot and Zola have advertised every detail you’ve never thought of! Together with the bride and groom, we purposed to plan a lovely event without overdoing it. As the saying goes, our intent was to bless, not impress.

Personally, I had to get serious to accomplish a lot of tasks quickly. Though I like organizing and planning, I knew a wedding in three months required laser-like focus, which is not my natural style. I had my teaching job, home/family responsibilities and other commitments but I dropped all optional activities and pastimes to get going. I also encouraged myself that since this was God’s plan, it could be done in time. I could think of the two weddings a few different ways: a spring wedding, then a summer wedding; about three months apart (May, June, July); or I could say less than three months apart; just seven weeks between them. Maintaining perspective kept me positive. For the most part we all did pretty well working together, being patient, and coming to agreement on many decisions.

A candid from her ‘dry run’ and portrait day.

As the main details came together, we enjoyed wonderful moments of celebration and beauty. Gift giving, creating and decorating, parties and getting pretty filled many hours with joy, togetherness and prayer. My husband and I continued with life beyond wedding planning too. It gets old when every dinner conversation covers the latest wedding expenses and selections. In the course of our wedding season, we managed to get out to two local car shows and host a campaign event. There were hospital visits and a funeral to attend as well. While we experienced joy others faced pain.

He entitled this photo “real men wear pink.”

Gratitude best sums up this season of weddings. We are thankful to God for the gift of spouses for our children. We have witnessed their Christian marriage according to God’s design. From the very beginning God established marriage with the words, “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh,” (Genesis 2:24). Be assured that we realize life will have its challenges for them and for us, but we have been glad, very “glad, in the day the Lord has made,” (Psalm 118:24)!

This Season

Those of you who do not know me personally may be wondering what happened to me and my blog writing. As of mid-March, wedding plans took over my free time. Our son got married in May and our daughter became engaged in March and began plans to marry in early July! It is a fun, happy and exciting time for us but it is also very busy, and at times, a bit stressful. It humors me that in our 32nd year of parenting the two weddings would come less than 2 months apart! But the possibility of two upcoming weddings crossed my mind even last fall before either of the ‘kids’ were engaged: I created one of my passwords using a plural reference to weddings. I will return to writing and sharing as soon as the preparations end, but for now, know that I am fine and we are busy. Enter into our joy!

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: … a time to laugh … and a time to dance” Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

Epic Departures

My niece departed from her wedding in epic fashion. Her reception took place at an old sailing club on one of North Carolina’s barrier islands. A ferocious tropical storm blew through the area the day before the wedding, nearly cutting off the island and jeopardizing the reception plans. But the day of the wedding dawned with sunny blue skies prevailing. After a chapel wedding, a beautiful nautical reception ensued and as the sun began to set, an antique fishing craft pulled up to the dock. The bride and her new husband literally sailed off into the sunset. Epic bests describes the perfect scene!

Billy Graham’s recent funeral was an epic departure too. After a famed life and his extraordinary reputation for genuineness, Billy Graham became one of only four non-statesman to “lie in honor” in the United States Capitol Rotunda. Crowds came to pay respects to a man who boldly yet plainly preached the Gospel, including my husband and me who took an afternoon to attend the Capitol viewing. Two former U.S. presidents paid their respects to Rev. Graham in repose at his North Carolina homestead and the President and Vice President, along with their wives, attended his funeral service. The worldwide attention to his death was remarkable.

I snapped this as we left the Capitol viewing.

Jesus Christ faced an epically gruesome departure from his human life. Crucifixion was a cruel Roman method of torture and execution. Jesus endured tremendous physical pain on the cross but Scripture informs us that his emotional anguish and spiritual pain were more crushing. Even the surroundings reacted to Jesus’ death. The sky turned dark for several hours during the day, there was an earthquake and a massive temple curtain ripped in half! It must have been terrifying.

Departures leave impressions but there is more to consider. Weddings evoke joy and celebration but a solid marriage means so much more. Funerals provide comfort and hope which remind us to live our own lives well. And Jesus is not so much remembered for his suffering and death but for his victory over it. He triumphed over that brutal execution and the burden of our guilt and returned to life, escaping death’s curse. This is the Resurrection; this is Easter. God’s promise to you is that your death too can be “swallowed up in victory” (1 Corinthians 15:54) by complete faith in Jesus’ death for you.

Distinktive February

Preface – Writing this blog helped me process a discouraging series of annoyances. Not wanting to bring my readers down, I hesitated to publish it. Lately, I’ve seen others struggling (two co-workers in tears) and the weekend storm brought major inconvenience to many. My February logic fails but may this post give you a chuckle and encourage you to persevere!

I often take on heavy subject matter in my blog posts. This time I write with some attitude, a bit tongue-in-cheek, on a lighter topic. I will however, end up where I always do, looking at how God may look at it, through His messages to us.

Last Saturday it rained for the third weekend in a row. While preparing breakfast that morning, a kitchen fuse blew. Around lunchtime, the printer wouldn’t print and after a fix, then became jammed, almost causing us to miss a deadline. Late in the afternoon, a T.V. component randomly disconnected and we went through all kinds of contortions to plug it in on the back of the large, mounted screen.

We all have days like this. Nothing serious but one annoyance after another. Frankly, I think the whole month of February stinks! Within a month’s time a pipe in our house leaked requiring a plumber’s attention, a new computer crashed during an update and we’ve attended two funerals. We have faced piles of forms and paperwork for some insurance issues and a car transaction. And since writing the first draft of this piece, the bathroom overflowed on my way out the door to work! Dreary weather and gray landscapes characterize this month. I’m sure that’s why God made February the shortest month of the year (wink, wink).

Years ago, my washing machine flooded. As I bemoaned the mess in my laundry room to my friend Janice she remarked that at least my floor got cleaned. Her words and perspective jarred me. Indeed my laundry room floor was in great need of a cleaning and the small deluge had done the job! Similarly my co-worker Andrea ordered a personalized license plate that read: AG Lining. She daily reminded herself to look for the best, a cloud’s silver lining, in rough situations and to focus on the bright side.

I noticed this bright spot in the grocery store yesterday.

Perspective, attitude and hope provide options in the daily, or in February’s case, the monthly grind. It turns out that we had a nice time catching up with our plumber friend when he came over to repair the leak. The day the computer crashed I had read a quote about 90% attitude vs. 10% circumstance and I concentrated on this as I spent the better part of a day in the MicroCenter repair department. The rain on one of those Saturdays morphed into snow and my husband and I enjoyed homemade soup by a roaring fire. And as is always the case, funerals bring neighbors and family together in meaningful and compassionate ways. The bright side shines.

We find February-type discouragement frequently in Scripture. For example, David the Psalm writer, shepherd boy, and king, wrote a lot about his doubts and despair. In Psalm 73 David lists the inequities he observed, calling them “oppressive.” Then he described the comfort he experienced when he “entered the sanctuary of God.” David found hope and regained perspective by spending time with God and I believe uplifting fellowship with right-thinking people may be suggested here too. Jesus needed this same encouragement to face His earthly challenges. He retreated to quiet places to commune with His Heavenly Father (Mark 1:35) and he walked daily with a group of twelve committed partners.

If February had you down, thank God that it is over! Whatever month it is, we always need God’s perspective on life and its little and big annoyances. Reading God’s words gives guidance and assurance, and spending time with others who also love His words will encourage you and keep you from succumbing to despair.

Life, Love and Loss

Contrasts. For me, the juxtaposition of opposite ideas, experiences or images ignites comprehension and awakens emotions. Sunsets display beautiful contrasts as fading light bounces off of the darkening horizon. Many foods pair contrasting flavors of sweet with salty or spicy. Home decorators prominently place accents of contrasting color, like the orange touches I’ve added to a bedroom of mauve. Contrasts cause me to contemplate.

Last month, I saw two friends in greatly contrasting situations. The one friend is quite young and has just had her first baby. We visited together and I watched her care for her newborn with mothering skill that was becoming more natural for her. We talked about her new life. She’s enjoyed a season of being at home. We discussed her marriage and the very great transition husbands and wives go through, from footloose couplehood to the parenting responsibilities of a threesome family. They ponder jobs, a home, more children and keeping their romance alive. New parenthood brings joy, wonder, adjustment and a changed reality.

The day after seeing my young friend and her baby, I attended a memorial service for the husband of a long-time acquaintance. Through social media, I was aware that her husband had been diagnosed with cancer but I had not spent any time with them in years. The couple was set up by friends because “they were from the same state, were both tall, and both liked to laugh.” It was a perfect match and love endured for 27 good years. With amazing composure, the widow shared fun and meaningful stories of those nearly three decades together. The couple came to understand that God’s timing for his life would be shorter than they had envisioned but their faith assured them of God’s plan in even this loss.

So life conflicted with loss; a baby’s arrival contrasting a husband’s passing; a cradle and a casket. But life and loss can be mastered by love. I don’t mean to say that loss is easy. Death, especially untimely bereavement, is tragic and devastating. Love isn’t replaced but it isn’t lost either. My widowed friend read this Scripture to summarize the faith and love she and her husband shared: “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12: 9 – 11

Now That’s a BHAG

A few small tables displaying a basic assortment of Christian books and Bibles line a corner of the large lobby of my church. I stopped there in December to buy a little gift. Lots of other folks thought of shopping there too, so a line had formed. As I got closer to the cashier, I spotted my friend Cheryl who runs the book ministry as a volunteer. People were commenting that she was busy with sales and she replied, “My goal is to outsell Amazon!” Now that’s a BHAG!

A BHAG is a Big Hairy Audacious Goal. James Collins and Jerry Porras coined the term in an effort to incentivize companies and employees to dream really big. The idea is not necessarily to set a realistic, reachable goal but to think way beyond expectations and believe in the impossible. For example, Walt Disney embodied the BHAG mindset and he achieved legendary success. The adage “Reach for the moon and if you miss you’ll still be among the stars” is a similar expression.

We have just begun the New Year. This is a season when many set goals, or at least reconsider priorities. But New Year’s resolutions almost seem out of vogue these days because people fail at them or forget them so quickly. I am not keen on setting New Year’s resolutions yet I do think of a new year as a fresh start and a chance to improve and grow. My nature is pragmatic and realistic so BHAGs aren’t my mental default. Instead I mull over changes I want to make and prayerfully reset priorities for my time. Above all, I love to make lists, which is a type of goal. Lists, and weekly planners, act as short term goals for me and the reward for me is checking them off. Apparently this is not a bad idea. Just the other day a professional email came through at my work suggesting that making very low, easy-to-reach goals was helpful. As the goals are met, mood and accomplishment improve.

A friend just gave me this planner, photographed in the same setting as my blog theme photo. The planner was created by Cheryl Martin and the Excellent Living organization.

Speaking of work, you might be surprised to know that elementary students are required to write personal goals quite regularly. Counselors provide guidance about how to draft goals. Young students come up with some winners: “I want to spelle beter.” Children often lack the maturity to implement steps to meet their goals. Things like practicing math facts daily teaches the student the times tables, but kids don’t always make that connection. My hope is that children do begin to understand the link between effort and success; that is an important part of education and life.

So how does this topic of goals connect to words from the Author of Life, which is the aim of my blog? I think the Bible states some incredible BHAGs. For example, Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plans I have for you … plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.” That sounds wonderful but God spoke those words to people in captivity, living in exile a thousand miles from their homeland. For them, prosperity and hope were a BHAG! Another amazing Scripture BHAG is, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20) Wow, God outperforms even our wildest imagination but the fine print identifies that the power is God’s and only if that power is activated in you, by belief and repentance. Which leads to the ultimate Biblical BHAG: God’s plan, His goal for mankind. Scripture states that the one sacrificial death of Jesus justifies the sins of the entire world, for those who claim that truth (Romans chapter 5). And that is NOT a wishful BHAG; it is a goal accomplished, a task finished, for you to embrace in this New Year 2018!

Postscript: I don’t know if you can PS a blog post, but I will add this anyway. When I announced my blog, a friend emailed me back that she hoped my blog would reach millions. I was thankful for Cynthia’s dream for me. My goal is to write regularly, highlighting God’s word with my experiences. I have usually met my own deadlines in the past 18 months and I appreciate all of you who are reading and sharing my posts. Please feel free to continue sharing it and sign up to automatically receive posts, if you haven’t already. The best way to find my blog on-line is www.brendaproulx.com.

Music Makes Merry

A couple of Christmases ago, my husband and I found ourselves in a “bah humbug” mood one December weekend. I don’t recall anything that was particularly wrong, but somehow, maybe from loneliness or fatigue, we lacked Christmas joy. That Sunday afternoon I got a call from a long-time friend saying she had just received four tickets to a Michael W. Smith concert that night. She wondered if we would like to go with them. My husband and I conferred; I decided to go to the concert with them and he preferred to stay home to rest.

I had known about the well-advertised show. It was being held at a large university arena nearby. The concert featured Amy Grant as well, so the program promised to be an evening of good oldies among great seasonal pieces. My friends picked me up and we took the short drive together. Our friendship goes back almost three decades but now we don’t see each other regularly. We always have a lot of family news to catch up on.

Vinyl records are popular again. This is my 1980’s original.

Michael W. Smith performs energetic and uplifting shows. He is down to earth and radiates authentic Christian faith. I pretend to know him because he married a friend I knew in college, but of course that’s wishful thinking! With his music colleague Amy Grant on stage too, the duo definitely presented a blast from the past. Most of the audience, including me, relived memorable songs from the 80’s. At intermission when the lights came up, my friends recognized some folks sitting right in front of us. The mother and daughter had known my friends from a time when both of their daughters went through cancer treatment. My friend wept as she reconnected with them. One can only imagine the deep bonds formed through that shared experience.

The concert celebrated the fun and focus of Christmas. The friendship on the stage mirrored the closeness of us listening in the audience. My soul responded as the Christmas songs and message ministered to my sagging spirits. Our friends came inside for a bit as they dropped me off at home. My husband had changed into his bedtime flannels but the four of us hung out together in the kitchen, recapping life. Somehow serenity had descended on us and on our home that night.

I experienced something similar earlier that fall. After a horribly oppressive all-day work meeting, I was scheduled to attend a concert in the evening. Though depleted of energy, I was committed to going with an acquaintance. I didn’t know much about the group performing that night either. I showed up out of obligation. But then “Big Daddy Weave” hit the stage and I sat up! They were large and loud! Eventually I recognized a few songs and could clap and hum along. The lead vocal belted out their story and His (Jesus’) Story with wonderful candor and love. As the evening progressed, my body and mind steadily revived. And in that concert too I ran into a childhood friend who I rarely see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TKAN-nAsu8

Music blesses and renews us. Christmas music is a special genre but all music, and especially music based on Truth, touches our hearts and the world powerfully. The Message Bible paraphrases a passage about music this way:

Sing to God a brand-new song.
He’s made a world of wonders!

⁴Shout your praises to God, everybody!
Let loose and sing! Strike up the band!

⁵Round up an orchestra to play for God,
Add on a hundred-voice choir.

⁶Feature trumpets and big trombones,
Fill the air with praises to King God.

⁷Let the sea and its fish give a round of applause,
With everything living on earth joining in.

⁸Let ocean breakers call out, “Encore!”
And mountains harmonize the finale— Psalm 98: 1, 4-8

Small Business Saturday

A big box discount warehouse or the hardware store downtown? The well-known coffee powerhouse or a local tea shop and bakery? Amazon or Etsy? I prefer the latter of each and patronize small businesses when I can. Of course, I make purchases at a large department stores and eat at chain restaurants, but when it’s possible and practical, I give local companies my business. I want to support community entrepreneurs in their ventures.

Today is Small Business Saturday. As the holiday shopping season begins, the Small Business Saturday initiative designates the Saturday after Black Friday to encourage and incentivize buying from non-chain retail stores. I participate in and promote this worthy cause.

I appreciate meaningful displays. I noticed this at a fast food chain, but as a franchise, it’s locally or independently owned.

Last year, after my Thanksgiving company went home, I headed out for some time alone. I drove to a quaint shopping district not far from our home. I went to several one-of-a-kind shops. I bought some reasonable items as ‘thank you’ gifts and stocked up on useful stationery and candles. It’s satisfying to buy directly from store owners who are often quite personable.

On my way home, I stopped at my favorite local business: the garden shop down the street. Lush plants of every kind and lavish home displays fill its various atriums. It is also a terrific example of small business success. The owner had a rag to riches life story accomplished through hard work and smart investment sense in the nursery business. Since I visit this garden center often, I have a routine. I enjoy the free coffee and popcorn, meander through the greenhouses and décor rooms, and then check out the sale aisle. I usually pick up a plant or two to exercise my green thumb. I am not sure what I ended up with that small business weekend but, while there, I filled out a raffle card before taking home a few of their beautiful garden calendars for the new year. A few days later I got a call from the garden center. Apparently, my name was drawn in the raffle and I won a $50 gift card! Hey, it pays to shop local.It is wise to be selective with your purchasing power. You can decide where to buy and who will get your money; options abound. You may be aware of a company’s policies or positions that you feel strongly about supporting or not supporting. Such discretion is your prerogative as a paying patron. Ultimately, all of our money comes from God, His blessing in our lives (Psalm 24:1). For that reason, we are held accountable for how, and where, we spend what He’s provided. Consider a few more Scriptures in light of your spending choices: “So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.” (Romans 14:12) ^“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” (Proverbs 3:27) “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.” (Matthew 25:23) “ Now the overseer (leader, example) is to be above reproach, . . . not a lover of money.” (1 Timothy 3:2-3)

Deeply Rooted

I began plant propagation experimenting with a date palm. At about 10 years old, I got a pit from a dried date and decided to plant it to try to grow a palm tree. I covered the pit with dirt and set my flowerpot in a sunny window. I watered and waited. After many weeks, actually it turned into months, the pot remained unchanged. I figured my seed was dead so I dug into the pot. To my great delight, the pit had sprouted and was sending up a shoot. I filled the soil back in and eventually witnessed the emergence of a mini palm tree complete with leafy fronds. I guess that success hooked me!

Succulents are easy to root and that’s how I got all these. Mezoo is a favorite tropical.

I have grown quite a few trees since then. From its fruit I have grown a paw paw tree, a Hardy Orange, and an Osage tree. In addition to those three, our yard includes some sassafras trees and a mulberry, as well as Rose of Sharon, barberry and grape holly shrubs that were raised from replanted saplings or cuttings. Some of our evergreens came from the north and from Forest Department saplings given away at the New York State Fair. Many of our woodland perennials grew from transplants from elsewhere or were shared by gardening friends. Once established, a lot of these kinds of plants naturalize again on their own and fill in large areas or they can be passed on to the next gardening friend.

I call this the candy corn vine: it blooms in October. Its real name is Mina Lobata, Spanish
Flag vine, and it’s one of my few seed successes this year.

Rooting plant cuttings yields the most reward for me. It’s so easy to snip a vine or side stem, plop it into water, and watch the roots appear! My husband collected antique glass bottles which now serve as lovely vases for my windowsill cuttings. My green thumb is much fainter however, when it comes to starting from seeds. I buy and plant seeds every year but few seem to make it all the way to the flowerbeds. Some germinate but I’ve discovered that growing to garden size is challenging. I understand why plant nurseries have to charge so much for annuals. I think an elegant glass conservatory would be the perfect place to tend my tiny plants and I discovered an abandoned greenhouse nearby, but somehow I’ve been unable to convince my husband that he should relocate it to our property!

My potting still life. It was a sharing project.

The Bible says a lot about planting. Ancient cultures survived through cultivation. “Have your roots planted deep in Christ. Grow in Him. Get your strength from Him. Let Him make you strong in the faith as you have been taught. Your life should be full of thanks to Him.” (Colossians 2:7) The Apostle Paul explains that to be strong in faith, you have to grow a good root system. This takes effort and the right growing conditions. Getting to know God by reading the Bible, listening to teaching from Scripture, and being around others who have Christian faith will give you a healthy growth spurt.

I also love how the first Psalm paints a vivid image of a vigorous tree to describe the life of strong faith. https://www.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.1.NIV

Footnote: The cuttings photograph credit goes to my daughter.

A Crooked Mechanic

A crooked mechanic almost duped my neighbor. She took her car in for its annual safety inspection and the car failed due to a burned-out brake light. The mechanic proposed fixing the brake light for three hundred dollars: $100 for the “specialty” bulb and $200 for the labor requiring two technicians. When I mentioned this to my husband, he immediately smelled something fishy. He checked out our neighbor’s brake light and it worked perfectly. They drove back to the auto shop for re-inspection and the light came on so the car passed the safety inspection. The inspector mumbled something about a faulty wire. But this was not about a temperamental wire or bulb. This was a rotten case of taking advantage of an older single woman who was apt to not completely understand her car’s condition but who was very able and likely to pay her bill. Such dishonest business, targeting the vulnerable, repulses our sense of basic decency!

Nothing crooked about this! Just one of the great vehicles we saw at the NRA car show yesterday.

Locally, another criminal story unfolded. A pregnant teacher went missing on the first day of school. She was found dead within a week and her boyfriend of six years was charged with her murder. Only a deep kind of evil draws a man to kill his unborn child and its mother. The young teacher also had floundered in life. She dated her boyfriend for years without a marriage commitment and became pregnant without a husband (remember the 7^th commandment, Exodus 20:14?).

It is easy to view these individuals with an air of disdain and a whiff of superiority. We feel above the corrupt cheater, the heartless killer, and the morally compromised. But the Bible warns us about this misperception: “The heart is deceitful above all things and it is extremely sick; who can understand it fully and know its secret motives? (Jeremiah 17:9 Amplified Version) Jesus further expanded the scope of sin with these piercing indictments: “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment. But I say, if you are even angry with someone you are subject to judgment! You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5: 21, 22 and 27)

Let misconduct and the cruelty of this world provoke you, but at the same time, be mindful of your own secret tendency to stray.