Today is the last day of June and I am back home. On June 1st I flew to Florida to be with my mother who seemed to be struggling. Six days later, several of us in the family, including a new great-grandson and Craig, celebrated Mom’s 94th birthday with her, in the hospital. A few days later Mom was released from the hospital for palliative care to the CCRC where she and Dad lived for over 15 years. On Tuesday morning, June 16, she took her last breath on earth, departed her mortal body, and entered eternal life with her Savior, Jesus Christ. Here are the words I shared at my mother’s Memorial Service last Saturday:
“Good afternoon. I’m Brenda Lee Kucharsky Proulx, my mom and dad’s firstborn, which sounds better than oldest! My siblings and I want to express our thanks to Rev. Jim Davey for officiating this service – it means so much to us to have our long-time family Pastor from the Arlington, VA days, and it was a specific request of Mom’s. It is good for my siblings and me to be here together today, along with some of our family. We were all gathered together with Mom just a little over a year ago to remember Dad and express our love to her.
To The Springs residents and staff, thank you for everything. Mom enjoyed calling The Springs home for the past 8 years. She relished knowing and loving on people here as you know, and they felt safe and well-cared for here.
Today I’ll share a variation of what I shared at Dad’s memorial service. Mom and Dad’s lives were uniquely entwined, so much of it is their story. I hope you will see how Jesus’ promise proved true in their lives: “Seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6 v 330
Like I said, I’m the family’s firstborn which is special. Mom and Dad proudly shared my birth with an announcement that was a replica of the Christianity Today magazine cover, stating “New Edition,” that is edition with an E. Dad took a reporter position in Washington DC soon after their marriage, when CT was just getting off the ground. Together, Mom and Dad had decided to commit Dad’s career to Christian journalism. For two decades, his time at Christianity Today brought exciting experiences including travel and coverage of significant world events. Living in the DC area was equally exciting and our parents provided special outings for us through these years. With the upcoming 250th U.S. anniversary, I am recently remembering how we celebrated the Nation’s Bicentennial: we visited Mount Vernon, rode the inaugural leg of DC’s Metro subway, and walked over to the Washington DC mall area from the Pentagon to enjoy the National fireworks! Dad appreciated memorable opportunities; Mom happily joined the adventures. Later, just she and Dad travelled. This included a trip to Switzerland for the World Congress on Evangelism, which was especially delightful to Mom because her favorite childhood book had been Heidi, the children’s novel set in Switzerland. Dad’s years at Christian Herald moved the family to the suburbs of New York City, and again provided many adventures. There Mom and Dad kind of became NY savvy, and it was also our introduction to Redeemer Presbyterian Church and Rev. Tim Keller, whose sermons greatly enriched our lives. In fact, Jon and Anabelle are now active members at Redeemer.
As I mentioned earlier, Mom and Dad were an exceptionally close couple, always enjoying being together whether it was washing and drying dishes side-by-side during which time we kids were banned from the kitchen OR on long road trips in their empty nest years. Mom said that she was attracted to Dad partly because he could talk about anything, meaning on many subject matters. But I think Dad was a good listener too, if you know what I mean. Dad always made Mom laugh even in his last years with his good sense of humor and I recall them breaking into song together in our home. As we’ve been looking through pictures to share, I have noticed that Mom’s best smiles were when she was photographed with her sweetheart of 68 years, Gene.
Dad and Mom were committed to ministry. Mom studied Christian Education in college and held ministry-related positions, volunteer and professional, throughout her lifetime. She was gifted with tremendous organizational skills and lots of energy. Mom and Dad’s commitment to the local church was unmatched! And that’s exactly what Christian believers are called to do – exercise their gifts, apply their personal resources of time, energy, and money to participate in God’s kingdom here on earth. What a legacy that is for me, and for all of us. Mom, together with Dad, opened our home to friends and newcomers for meals, and hosted overnight guests. Meeting pastors and missionaries through time in our home made a lasting impression on me. Mom often sought out singles and young couples who found themselves far from home in the DC area. This included a young Canadian couple having their first baby, other newlywed couples, military recruits, and government personnel. Mom generously reached out to them and several remain in touch with the family to this day … that’s more than 50 years of remembering her kindness. Theirs was a team vision for life and home.
Let me back up a bit here to share briefly about Mom’s childhood. She was born and raised in Hamilton, Ontario. She was the youngest child and only daughter in her family. She was close to her older brothers, our Uncle Harvey and Uncle Jack, gaining two sweet sisters-in-law in her teens. We stay in touch with our remaining Canadian cousins, especially since the Bartons acquired a cottage in the beautiful Muskoka lake region of Ontario – a region where we and the Pattersons vacationed in summer. Mom had an adventurous childhood ice skating outdoors in the winter, picnicking at the Great Lakes of Ontario and Erie, and summertime swimming and boating in the lakes up north. Her teen years were active with friendships through the church youth group. She probably spent time hanging out and helping at Patterson’s, the business her father started, which eventually became a lovely furniture store. Throughout childhood and to this day, Mom’s dearest friend was Marilyn Maxa. They met at church and were schoolmates and neighbors. Interestingly, both Mom and Marilyn went to college in the States, and both married Americans. They also both ended up in Virginia to raise their own families – small world, rich blessing. In the decades of their adult lives, they maintained their lifelong friendship through sending cards and letters.
When Dad passed away in February of 2025, my sisters and I watched a Sunday morning worship service with Mom. The guest preacher, a familiar minister to Mom and Dad, mentioned the passing of “Oaks of Righteousness” who had displayed God’s splendor. The phrase is a quote from Isaiah 62. I noted at Dad’s Memorial that he could be remembered as an “oak of righteousness” – not because of his good and upright life but because of his full trust in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The very same is true of Mom. We knew her as an energetic lady, an out-going friend, and a devoted wife and mother, who found great joy in serving her Lord Jesus Christ. As the Bible says of Daniel, in Daniel chapter 12, verse 13, “But you, go your way till the end; for you shall rest, and will arise to your inheritance at the end of the days.” AMEN
